Friendterventions

This weekend, Brad, Jackson, and I had lunch with a few friends at the Cantina in downtown Columbus. We sat outside to enjoy the beautiful day and allowed Jackson, our now nearly 5-month old pup, to sit beside our table and snack on a few coveted ice cubes. Most of these friends had not met Jackson yet, and Brad and I shared stories of finding him in a Nashville shelter, his antics around the house, his recent trip to the dog park, and meeting his Uncle Buddy at Dad's house in Columbus. I shared how protective I feel of Jackson and how much I love our little doggy (which I admitted to be a little extreme at times), and I made this comment:

"I didn't think I was going to be one of those doggy moms, but I guess I am."

My friend Jens responded, "Well I guess you didn't consult your peers on that."

"Because my friends would have been able to tell me pre-pup that I would be one of those doggy moms?" I asked.

With a hint of the Kool-Aid Man's emphasis, Jens answered, "Oh yeah."

I didn't take Jens's comment as a criticism or an insult, but I was surprised with the certainty of his statement. He knew, without a doubt, what kind of doggy mom I would be-- a fact that had apparently not been nearly as clear to me initially.

I think there's something really interesting about this-- what our friends know about us that we can't always see ourselves. I consider myself a fairly reflective, self-aware person, but a good dose of friendtervention (or, friend intervention) may provide me with new levels of understanding of myself, my life, or my decisons. Now, I don't really know how a friendtervention might work... I'm certainly not keen on walking up to buddies and saying, "What do you think about my tendencies as a doggy mom... really?" That seems a little self-centered, even to the actor in me. But I do wonder about my responsibility as a friendtervention participant in others' lives. How often do I really speak what I believe instead of avoiding a hearty conversation? Why do I sometimes choose a surface-level reponse instead of sharing a more meaningful dialogue with friends and family?

I'm not suggesting that friendterventions are always the right/best/smartest choice, but I do think a healthy dose of non-surface reality in conversations can go a long way in deepening relationships and encouraging honesty. I don't know if my behavior as one of those doggy moms would have changed if I had consulted Jens pre-Jackson adoption, but at least I would have been prepared for occasional extreme bouts of puppy love.